The Saddest Thing

It has been said that ” The saddest thing is a retarded man who is crying and promising a broken egg that it will still be a chicken someday, and that they’ll play together in a field when it gets better. “

It has also been said that ” The saddest thing is a little girl who is told by her own mother and father that she will never be pretty, and then they open the front door, and on the porch is a little white suitcase, with all of her things in it. “

It has been seen, however, that the saddest thing is my chewed up and mangled nipples.

During the lead up to the Ben Hurt Chariot War, my largest fear was for my nipples. They’re my Achilles’s Heel. A significant blow to my nipples could rent me asunder. I hadn’t realized the real nipple problem I would be facing, were the nipples below my taint.

On the last Scappoose ride, it was noted that my 2008 KH29er was making a bit of a grinding noise. The spoke tension seemed kind of wacky, but not BAD. The wheel itself seemed slightly out of true. Max Taint, the most taint possible, was starting another secret armory project and suggested he borrow the wheel, have his way with it, and then true it when he was done. Had I known it would involve dwarfs, I might have had some apprehension. That, however, is a story for another day.

When it appeared that I would not be able to meet up with Max in a reasonable time for a truing class, he forged ahead and discovered the ugly truth to the grinding noise.

Mangled Nipples.

Here’s an excerpt from the dire message I received.

I took a look at your new KH 29er wheel this afternoon and found out why it went out of true so quickly: See attached pics. Someone in Taiwan horribly mangled almost all of the spoke nipples on your KH29. It looks like a failed or broken spoke lacing machine driver - or a person with a countersinking cutter took/sheared/ground as much as a 1/3 or more of the back side of the nipple away, actually leaving light showing through the rim spoke hole in some cases. A couple of them broke off when I tried to turn them with a spoke wrench. No spoke nipples were spared this treatment entirely.

“No spoke nipples were spared”

Word has been sent back to HolmHQ. Now: The wait.

Posted by Nipple on Mar 03, 2009