Home of Portland's premier Unicycle Gang: the Unicycle Bastards > Articles > Unicycle Bastards - A Force Through the Ages
Any true historian will tell tales of the day in June of 2007 when the Unicycle Bastards invaded Portland. As is to be expected, the natives were unsure of their new champions. Their attire was odd; their customs, puzzling. Despite the cool welcome, the newcomers took it upon themselves to patrol the region in defense of unknown insurgents.
But within the year, their presence was celebrated when the insurgents arrived. Through great battles and significant losses, the zombie hordes were obliterated by the elite Bastards aided by the awesome power of their invisibility-cycles.
With all threats subdued, a great calm washed over the land. People went about their lives with a sense of security. To honor their saviors, extravagant contests were arranged. The most worthy of Bastards were persuaded to compete in challenges of speed, power and agility. Heroes arose and, regarding the communal sense of satisfaction, there was no end in sight.
Or so it had seemed...
Evidence has come to light, representing an upwelling among the masses. With any real consideration it would have been expected. Peace and prosperity is good, but no one -- not even the Unicycle Bastards -- can resist the temptation of 'more'.
And as is the nature of the world, just as this desire has arisen, so has an opportunity for ultimate fulfillment. The conquest ahead will far exceed the greatest undertaking yet witnessed by mankind. The time to prepare is limited. The risk of dishonor is extreme. But should victory ensue, the spoils will be endless.
The wise among us will get their affairs in order. In October of 2009, the Unicycle Bastards Take On the World!
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